Worship

These past two Sundays, I've had some very powerful worship moments. Last Sunday, David took his (mine, too!) Disciple class to worship at the Sunday evening service at Atlanta 1st UMC. It was so powerful! For me, it felt like a cross between Catacombs (worship service from my college days) and The Rock/La Roca UMC. Think high church look, acoustic feel, and in an inner-city setting. The worship team was incredible- just three people- a cross between Chris Tomlin and Kirk Franklin. Sounds weird, but it worked. I am not even sure how to articulate my experience other than to say that there was something utterly raw and real about the worship. Surprisingly, given that I grew-up in a middle-class, suburban church, I am drawn to inner-city churches.

Yesterday was All Saints Day. St. James had a beautiful service. The choir sang a requiem that they had pieced out throughout the service. During communion, the two most beautiful sections were sung. It took all I had to not cry. I sat there, watching people come up for communion, thinking about all the people that have gone before us, but yet inspire us still. As I was reflecting, the associates son came up with his wife to take communion. He is a injured soldier. About a month or so ago, he was being transported from one base to another in Afghanistan when their Hummer drove over a bomb. His sergeant was killed and he suffered from a serious arm injury. I sat there thinking about how on the one hand we are celebrating the saints, but on the other, here we have someone who God spared. How emotional that must have been for his family!

Then I looked over to see a father and his daughter come up. The daughter took communion first and walked straight to the altar. Most kids (I've noticed) wait for their parents, waiting for an example of what to do. She, however, knelt down at the altar rail and began to pray. Her father came and knelt down right beside her, their shoulders overlapping. It was such a beautiful picture of what prayer is- the faith of a child and a father right there with her. When we pray, we should pray with the confidence of a child, knowing that although we pray to a Holy God, He is right there with us!

In His Mercy.

One Year

A year ago today, I was on the way to West Hartford United Methodist Church to walk down the aisle and marry David=) These past couple of days I have allowed my imagination to recreate that day and take a walk down memory lane. It was such a surreal, beautiful, and blessed time of our lives as we made preparations and exchanged our vows. I told David beforehand that I was more excited about the ceremony than I was about our reception. Don't get me wrong- our reception was a blast and very memorable! But, the ceremony was when we made a commitment to stay together in marriage until death parts us. To me, THAT is the most important part of marriage.

Our first year of marriage has been challenging, fun, ordinary, and exciting. God has taken us on quite a journey! He has taught us to trust Him in everything and for everything. There were times when that was difficult, but every time, He provided and He took care of us and blessed us with a wonderful life together. For that, I am forever grateful

And to David, I love you. This year has been great, but I can't wait to see what happens this year!

In His Mercy.

It's Been a While

Well, it's officially been a long time since I have written. The reasons are many! The biggest reason was that I was finishing my MDiv. On Friday, August 28th, I finished it after four long years of constant hard work! Seminary=no breaks if you want to graduate in 4 yrs or less. Several people have asked me if I have more time on my hands now and strangely, it seems that I don't. I juts have new things taking up my time=)

God is doing a good work in my life. For the past year+, I was in a place where I really just had stopped caring about my heart. I know that must sound weird and just to clarify, it had NOTHING to do with my marriage. I love David and our life together is such a blessing. My life circumstances dumped me into a place of apathy. I can't make too many excuses because ultimately I make my own decisions. This apathy frustrated me. I wanted to care, but couldn't force myself to. I guess I thought that moving to our new house and having a new start would magically solve my problems, but surprise, surprise, it didn't. God's renewing of my heart has been slow, one baby step at a time. It started with cleansing tears, a warm embrace, and an excitement to be back in the Word.

About a week and a half ago, David and I took communion together before Wednesday night super at church. It was just the two of us at the altar, sharing this intimate meal together. We have not taken communion together like this, ever! It was so special for me and it brought tears to my eyes. I felt God's presence with me, reminding me of the blessing I have in David. We are in this ministry "thing" together- for all the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. It's hard being the spouse and figuring out how to be me in all of this. Another pastor's wife reminded me of the importance of remembering who I am and not worrying about perceptions. She's right- I don't have to be anyone else but me!

I just sense God moving in little ways here and little ways there and my heart is feeling uplifted once more. Praise Jesus!

In His Mercy.

False Idols

This summer, I am finishing up the last 3 classes for my MDiv. One of the classes is a Youth Ministries class, which despite the workload, I am enjoying. As I was reading this week for the class on the power of media in adolescents' lives, I came across a paragraph on "pro-ana" websites. Pro-ana, as in pro-anorexia. What??? My mouth fell open- I am disgusted that these websites exist. I went online and googled "pro ana" and within seconds, I had thousands of websites and videos at my disposable, all dedicated to the worship of "Ana."

It is scary to think that so many girls/ women are enslaved to their bodies in such a way where they stand in front of a mirror, skin and bones, and see flabby arms and thunder thighs. As this author was saying and as I have believed for a long time, things like pro-ana and pro-mia (pro bulimea) are a direct result of the media. The average model or actress on tv is 5'10, 110 pounds, and a size two. The average american woman is 5'4, 140 pounds, and a size ten. Is it any wonder that girls starve themselves. We are told everyday by several different media sources that to be thin is to be beautiful.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went into one of my favorite clothing stores. When we came out, he asked me, "Did you notice how all the clothes were clipped onto the mannequins?" Actually, I had. All the mannequins were wearing the smallest sizes possible and furthermore, if you looked at the back of them, the shirts, pants, etc. had been clipped to snugly fit the mannequins. Why??? BECAUSE MOST WOMEN JUST AREN'T THAT SMALL, PEOPLE! To some extent, even the clothing companies realize that.

As someone who struggled with eating disorder tendencies in the past, todays marketing techniques scare me to no end. We need to embrace who God has created us to be. The Psalms tell us that we are "fearfully and wonderfully" made. 1 Corinthians tells us that our bodies are a temple. There is a balance between embracing the different shapes and sizes God has created us to be and being healthy and taking care of ourselves. Don't believe the media's lies- embrace God's TRUTH!

In His Mercy.

In God's Time

Trusting in God's timing is always a difficult thing to do. Sometimes you just think that everything is coming together. Things are going in your favor and it seems that everything is working in your favor. But then, God comes in and says, "Not yet." Two simple words, easy to understand, but so hard to accept. All you can do is keep going forward, seeing the positive. I tend to be optimistic and think that every cloud has a silver lining.

So, David and I are plugging along. We had our first Sunday at our new church on Sunday. It was a very exciting day! The last hymn we sang was "Great is thy Faithfulness," which is one of my favorite hymns. I just about cried as I thought about all the ways God has taken care of David and I. I really can't complain- I'm sitting here in a beautiful home that David and I purchased, I have a super sweet puppy, the best husband, food, clothes, an education. So while I wish certain things could happen on my time, I am willing to wait on God's timing. A little challenge never hurt anyone=)

In His Mercy.

A "Brief" Update?

There have been many times this past month that I have wanted to sit down and write. I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around my head, but unfortunately my motivation to blog has been nil. I want to get back to it, so today is my hodge-podge of an update.

Last semester, I took two cross-cultural leadership classes. It was a very interesting experience. I have a heart for cross-cultural leadership and was very excited to share my passion with the class. Each class entailed a final project. The first project was to create a ministry plan to be implemented that either enhances a cross-cultural ministry that already exists or to start a new one. It had to be written from the context that we were currently in, so for me that meant a brand new ministry. On the other hand, I had to present a cross-cultural ministry that was already in existence. Easy- did that for two years in Kentucky! So, here I am struggling with the fact that I had to force this ministry on someone who didn't really want it. I wrestled with the question of "what id they're not willing?" Well, as I interviewed ministry leaders for my other presentation, I was struck by the fact that the pastor said, "diversity happened on accident." In other words, it happened because they became relevant. It wasn't forced. What a juxtaposition to the ministry plan I was designing! So, I am left at the end of the semester with the same question I had at the beginning of the semester- how does cross-cultural ministry really happen and can it be forced? I just don't know....

I graduated on May 23rd from seminary! Well, I still have three classes this summer- THEN I am done, but it was fun to go through all the pomp and circumstance. David and I traveled back up to Wilmore on the 22nd. For whatever reason, I became very emotional about it all. As I sat and watched people cross the stage that I had come in with, I started thinking about all the friendships that had been formed and the experiences we had together. I realized that this was an experience that could never be duplicated. You live, you learn, and you move on. Perhaps I never really internalized the moving on part. I knew it in theory, but as I sat their, I knew I needed to know it in reality. I enjoyed seeing the places I lived, seeing the place where David and I met, seeing Clucker's, but now I need to appreciate it and move on. I treasure my days in Wilmore, but it's time to move on and treasure a new season in my life.

David and I moved into our new home a week ago. We've had new floors put in and new furniture and I love it. The Lord has blessed David and I in so many ways that have brought us to this place. After a marathon moving day last thursday, I stepped into our new shower and cried. Something as simple as a shower in a new place overwhelmed me with gratitude. David and I have certainly learned about taking things for granted- we didn't this past year because we weren't given the opportunity to. As a result, we are able to love and embrace our quaint home. 

God is good...all the time. All the time...God is good.

In His Mercy.

Summer Time, and the Livin' is Easy

Well, it is almost summer time. I had my last day of work yesterday. All my class work is due within the next few days. And then- TWO WEEKS OF NOTHING! Yes, sadly my summer will consist of 3 online classes and preschool training events. So, I get my two weeks of easy summer livin'!

It has been such a great year. It's hard to believe that 10 months ago, I walked into the preschool doors, not knowing what to expect. A few teachers wrote little notes to me telling me about all the "shoes I had to fill" I never thought about, but they're right. I had to step into a lot of new roles this past year. I stepped into the role as a wife- and a pastor's wife at that! I stepped in as one of the director's assistants at the preschool. This included many little and big jobs- I never knew what to expect. I stepped into the role of substitute teacher. Every class was different and so each time I stepped into the role, I was presented with different challenges. And, I stepped into the role as the Music and Spanish teacher when Cara left to have her baby. This was so great because I got to work with all the kids. And what a blessing they were. Their hugs and "I Love you's" were enough to melt my heart and taught me about God's love for me. It's amazing how kids are so insightful without even knowing it. I see the heart of God all the time in these kids.

I feel so incredibly blessed. It has almost been a full year since I moved down to Georgia and it has been quite the ride! God has blessed me beyond words. I have done things I have never done before and done them with bravery and trust in the Lord who gave me all these good things. I am so excited to see what God will allow me to accomplish in these NEXT 12 months. 

Life is good right now. We're closing on a house in 2 1/2 weeks. God is making my heart new. God is giving me rest and excitement. Praise the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever!

In His Mercy.