In God's Time

Trusting in God's timing is always a difficult thing to do. Sometimes you just think that everything is coming together. Things are going in your favor and it seems that everything is working in your favor. But then, God comes in and says, "Not yet." Two simple words, easy to understand, but so hard to accept. All you can do is keep going forward, seeing the positive. I tend to be optimistic and think that every cloud has a silver lining.

So, David and I are plugging along. We had our first Sunday at our new church on Sunday. It was a very exciting day! The last hymn we sang was "Great is thy Faithfulness," which is one of my favorite hymns. I just about cried as I thought about all the ways God has taken care of David and I. I really can't complain- I'm sitting here in a beautiful home that David and I purchased, I have a super sweet puppy, the best husband, food, clothes, an education. So while I wish certain things could happen on my time, I am willing to wait on God's timing. A little challenge never hurt anyone=)

In His Mercy.

A "Brief" Update?

There have been many times this past month that I have wanted to sit down and write. I've had a lot of thoughts rolling around my head, but unfortunately my motivation to blog has been nil. I want to get back to it, so today is my hodge-podge of an update.

Last semester, I took two cross-cultural leadership classes. It was a very interesting experience. I have a heart for cross-cultural leadership and was very excited to share my passion with the class. Each class entailed a final project. The first project was to create a ministry plan to be implemented that either enhances a cross-cultural ministry that already exists or to start a new one. It had to be written from the context that we were currently in, so for me that meant a brand new ministry. On the other hand, I had to present a cross-cultural ministry that was already in existence. Easy- did that for two years in Kentucky! So, here I am struggling with the fact that I had to force this ministry on someone who didn't really want it. I wrestled with the question of "what id they're not willing?" Well, as I interviewed ministry leaders for my other presentation, I was struck by the fact that the pastor said, "diversity happened on accident." In other words, it happened because they became relevant. It wasn't forced. What a juxtaposition to the ministry plan I was designing! So, I am left at the end of the semester with the same question I had at the beginning of the semester- how does cross-cultural ministry really happen and can it be forced? I just don't know....

I graduated on May 23rd from seminary! Well, I still have three classes this summer- THEN I am done, but it was fun to go through all the pomp and circumstance. David and I traveled back up to Wilmore on the 22nd. For whatever reason, I became very emotional about it all. As I sat and watched people cross the stage that I had come in with, I started thinking about all the friendships that had been formed and the experiences we had together. I realized that this was an experience that could never be duplicated. You live, you learn, and you move on. Perhaps I never really internalized the moving on part. I knew it in theory, but as I sat their, I knew I needed to know it in reality. I enjoyed seeing the places I lived, seeing the place where David and I met, seeing Clucker's, but now I need to appreciate it and move on. I treasure my days in Wilmore, but it's time to move on and treasure a new season in my life.

David and I moved into our new home a week ago. We've had new floors put in and new furniture and I love it. The Lord has blessed David and I in so many ways that have brought us to this place. After a marathon moving day last thursday, I stepped into our new shower and cried. Something as simple as a shower in a new place overwhelmed me with gratitude. David and I have certainly learned about taking things for granted- we didn't this past year because we weren't given the opportunity to. As a result, we are able to love and embrace our quaint home. 

God is good...all the time. All the time...God is good.

In His Mercy.

Summer Time, and the Livin' is Easy

Well, it is almost summer time. I had my last day of work yesterday. All my class work is due within the next few days. And then- TWO WEEKS OF NOTHING! Yes, sadly my summer will consist of 3 online classes and preschool training events. So, I get my two weeks of easy summer livin'!

It has been such a great year. It's hard to believe that 10 months ago, I walked into the preschool doors, not knowing what to expect. A few teachers wrote little notes to me telling me about all the "shoes I had to fill" I never thought about, but they're right. I had to step into a lot of new roles this past year. I stepped into the role as a wife- and a pastor's wife at that! I stepped in as one of the director's assistants at the preschool. This included many little and big jobs- I never knew what to expect. I stepped into the role of substitute teacher. Every class was different and so each time I stepped into the role, I was presented with different challenges. And, I stepped into the role as the Music and Spanish teacher when Cara left to have her baby. This was so great because I got to work with all the kids. And what a blessing they were. Their hugs and "I Love you's" were enough to melt my heart and taught me about God's love for me. It's amazing how kids are so insightful without even knowing it. I see the heart of God all the time in these kids.

I feel so incredibly blessed. It has almost been a full year since I moved down to Georgia and it has been quite the ride! God has blessed me beyond words. I have done things I have never done before and done them with bravery and trust in the Lord who gave me all these good things. I am so excited to see what God will allow me to accomplish in these NEXT 12 months. 

Life is good right now. We're closing on a house in 2 1/2 weeks. God is making my heart new. God is giving me rest and excitement. Praise the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever!

In His Mercy.

Surrender

It's 10:20 as I write this and normally by this time, I am snug alseep under the covers- 6 am gets here way too quick! Perhaps it's just one of those nights where I can't sleep or perhaps it's because the speaker at church told us that he was going to pray that if we have stuff to deal with, that we wouldn't sleep tonight. I haven't figured out if it's the latter or the former...

Sunday he spoke of commitment vs. surrender. To be honest, I never would have thought to juxtapose the two, but it makes sense. I can commit myself to God, but so what? If that's all I did, the excuses could abound- I'm not behaving because I haven't heard the Lord speak to me.....but I am committed to Him. Or, I am committed to Him as long as everything goes my way...

One of the definitions of commitment is: an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. A commitment can almost hogtie your hands- where is the freedom of that? Should we be in bondage with the Lord? Absolutely not.

But surrender on the other hand is a whole other story. Surrender is abandonment of self in humility to the Lord. There is a freedom in letting go of that bondage. Surrender is wreckless abandonment. It's a relinquishment of all that we cling to. It's freedom...as strange as that sounds, it's freedom. Surrendering to God is not a restriction of freedom, but the unleashing of freedom to be who God has created us to be. It all seems so complex and contradictory- and maybe it is, but it makes complete sense...

Maybe I do have stuff to work on.

In His Mercy.

Pourin' Out My Love

A couple of weeks ago, a little girl at the preschool where I work started hugging her teacher. Her teacher said, "Stella, what are you doing?" Her response was, "I'm just pourin' out my love on you." I think my mouth kind of dropped over. Probably without even realizing it, this little girl gave me a clear picture of (part of) who God is. God doesn't need a reason to pour His love out on us- He just does it, no questions asked. And wow, did I need love poured out on me this past week.

Monday night, David and I received some disheartening news that brought us to our knees in surrender. Only God could get us out of this. The turnaround in 24 hours was amazing- God's grace through and through. It was exhausting going from extreme worry to extreme praise and excitement. I don't have words for what God has done for us- just that He is GOOD! His faithfulness to provide for us is mind-boggling. I felt God's love being poured out on me for sure!

Not to mention, as the new music and spanish teacher at the preschool, I am constantly being loved by those kids. I've gotten planty of hugs, I love you's, and one little special needs boy said to me the other day, "Miss. Sarah? You're a sweet girl!" God is using these little kids in ways that they don't even know!

In His Mercy.

Sunshine Day

Well, it feels like Spring here in Geogia, at least for the time being. The weatherman says it will get cold again. Maybe straight hair season is not over quite yet=)

David and I spent the afternoon running errands. We ran over to Target, Best Buy, the dry cleaner's, and then grabbed some lunch. I sat at the table with David and was suddenly overcome by emotions regarding our upcoming move. I guess I never really stopped to think about what it would be like to be a pastor's wife. The truth is, I got spoiled this time around. Because David is THE staff and there wasn't really an office for him at the church, it meant he could work from home. It meant he could eat lunch with me when I got home from work. It meant he could help cook dinner and go grocery shopping with me in the afternoon.

I'm excited about our move, but I have my fears. I keep thinking that it is going to be a tough transition. He'll be on staff and won't be around as much. am I being selfish? I am so grateful for our time together here and I am excited for what the future holds, but it is so hard to just trust that even though our schedules will look different, we are still on the top of each other's priority lists.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and in all your ways acknowledge him."

In His Mercy.

The Apple- 3 in 1?

I went to a preschool conference on Friday. One of the workshops I went to was about how to incorporate faith-based lessons in the classroom. One of the ideas she gave us was to take an apple and explain to the kids that our Trinitarian GOd is like an apple. Well, like any good Asburian, a red flag went up. In a worship class I took as Asbury, we discussed how analogies like this are borderline heretical. To say that God is like an apple is modalism. God does not function in 3 different modes, but the three persons work together as a unit. The leader of this workshop made it sound as if we gave the kids this analogy, then we will have taken care of the "trinity problem." Why do we feel the need to squelch a child's sense of wonder? If as adults we don't fully understand the trinity, then why are reducing God to an apple to appease a child?

This is a problem with a lot of today's children's curricula: it's simplistic and takes away the chance for the child to ask questions. One of my biggest pet peeves is when VBS teachers or children's ministry leaders take a curriculum and read it verbatim. They get flustered when a child asks a question that the pages in front of them don't answer. When did we stop speaking from the heart? When did we start disallowing a child's freedom to be curious? What we need is open-ended curriculum that allows for the innocence of a child to remain past their Sunday school years....

In His Mercy.