I turned on my Hillsong Pandora station this afternoon while I set about to accomplish a few chores and Christy Nockel's song, "Waiting Here for You" came on. The lyrics were enough for me to stop what I was doing and reflect. I've talked about waiting before on my hardly ever used blog, but it's one of those lessons that I have struggled with. I've had a really hard time finding God's holiness in waiting. I am almost ashamed to say that.
I've had a lot of waiting periods in my life. In my depression several years back, I spiraled into a place that was so ugly and only God Himself could have pulled me out, and he did. But, I had to wait in that ugly place for Him and only then could I recognize His faithfulness, love, and grace. When I longed for a husband and didn't see one in sight, I had to wait in an uncomfortable place, but God met me there. And now I have been married for close to 4 years to a wonderful husband who I am so in love with. I could go on about those waiting rooms, but who wants to hear about all that ugly stuff?
My point is, that God is holy even in my pain, even in my waiting. God waits with me and stirs my heart and my passions despite my selfish desires for things to go my way. Just now, I sat down and wrote a poem for the first time in 5 1/2 years- I used to write all the time. God is slowly laying out pieces of the puzzle of my life and letting me see how they fit together. I am in awe of God's faithfulness and love in this moment. He always brings to fruition His perfect plan and I expect no less than this time around.
I'm waiting here for you, Lord.
In His Mercy.
