Room at the Inn

Last night I volunteered with Room at the Inn. This is a homeless ministry that area churches in Lexington participate in for the winter months. Food and shelter are provided for homeless men. I signed up to cook dinner with one other person, which also meant serving dinner to the men and eating with them. I did this last year and was extremely nervous about the eating part. What do I possibly have to say to a group of homeless men? The same went for this year. Cooking dinner was fine- despite the fact that I am a cook in the making=) But it was eating dinner that I was nervous about.

Shortly before heading over to the church, I was on the phone with David expressing to him my concerns. His advice: be yourself and don't feel like you have to say anything- the reality is that they probably have wealth of wisdom that I simply don't have. So I head off to church with a simple prayer in my heart- Lord, please help me to be myself. Dinner was cooked, the men were served, and I finally got up the nerve to grab my plate and just sit down at the table. After a few minutes of silence, the man sitting across from me opened the door for conversation. We probably talked for a good 20 to 30 minutes. He told me personal things about being homeless- not specifically why he was in the situation, but the general gist and how he wanted to move forward. I felt the Holy Spirit at the table with us and I encouraged this man to continue forward and to hold onto the hope that we don't have to live in our pasts. He asked me about why I was in Kentucky and what I wanted to do with my life. As I got up to go help with the dishes, he stopped me and encouraged me. He expressed to me his gratitude that I had a passion to work with kids and encouraged me as I continued forward with this ministry goal.

It was an incredible night. I walked out of church last night with such an excitement overflowing from my heart. The Lord taught me an important lesson last night. He reminded me that He uses the weak to guide the strong. I don't think I have strength, but society would see this man as the weak one and me as the strong one- if only because of economic status. But the truth is that I probably received more that I gave last night. The Lord also reminded me that we should be excited about our participation in Kingdom service. I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit prompted me to sign up to cook dinner last night! Truly for me it wasn't about the actual food we cooked, but by the spiritual food that that homeless man gave to me without even realizing it...

In His Mercy.

Ironic?

I had an interesting experience yesterday. For one of my classes, a portion of my grade is based upon my organization and upkeep of a 3-ring binder that contains all of the class material for the semester. Our grade on it is dependent on the quality of our personal notes and how meticulous we are in our filing. Well, I sit down to organize my notebook with all the handouts and notes I have from the first week of classes. I looked proudly at my creation and started flipping through the syllabus to see what I needed to read and write for Tuesday. Lo and behold, what do I find? A page in the syllabus informing me of exactly how to tabulate my notebook. I had done it all wrong. Of course, I get a "little" frustrated. I mean, I thought that I was a detailed person, but I've got nothing on this professor.

So, David calls. I vent. Call the class stupid. Kick around my stupid binder for a while. Go write a paper. And then come back to that darn binder. As I re-labeled everything and re-filed all my papers, God did something quite unexpected. God began to fill me with an excitement about the class....and even the stupid binder! He reminded me that even my "stupid class" is an opportunity to worship Him and that He has a lot to teach me. So ironically, I actually am excited about the class and having this notebook which probably will turn out to be a great resource.

Oddly enough, compiling that notebook yesterday was a spiritual boost. It was a reminder to me of the many blessings in my life- the least of them not being the fact that I am privileged to receive an education. I'm very content with life right now. At the end of the day, I know Who loves me most, who loves me the "next most" =), and who my friends are. Life is good. God is better!

In His Mercy.

Reflection in the Cross

Wednesday nights for me are spent at church with the kids. And I love it. It seems that God really teaches me a lot through my work with the kids. Kids' simplicity can be so profound!

This past wednesday night, one of the little boys, whose probably about 7, was hanging around band practice- his mom was the drummer this week. He walks over to the gold cross on the altar and is looking into it. The worship leader says, "look, you can see your face in the cross." This little boy keeps looking and simply smiles. It made me stop and think. We should all see our reflection in the cross. When I look at the cross, I first off see my sin. I see my brokenness and the sin i my life that lead for the need of the cross. Then I see, second of all, Jesus' broken and bloodied body hanging there, as a penalty for my sin. But lastly, and most importantly, I see the redemption and hope that Jesus offers through His atonement. And to me that is just amazing. As this 7-year-old made me realize, we are all reflected in the cross. God's goodness, grace, mercy, and faithfulness shines through that brokenness hanging there on that old, rugged cross. What an awesome truth!

In other news, I just had a great worship time cleaning our kitchen here in the apartment! I turned on some old Crowder Band, turned it up, and scrubbed my little heart out, tearing as I realized just how deeply I am in need of Jesus. I also learned in this moment that I truly am my mother's daughter=)

In His Mercy.

Monday through Saturday

I haven't updated for a while. January was a whirlwind of a month. I had my 3-day class from the 7th to the 9th. After taking the exam and writing my paper, I went down to Georgia to be with my fiance for two whole weeks=) The crazy thing is that in the 9 1/2 months we've been together, we have never spent that much time together. It was such a blessing. Now I'm back in Kentucky dealing with coming down from the mountain.

Sunday at church, Aaron shared a comment that Maggie had made about how Sunday is not the most important day for her spiritually. This has been rolling around my head for the past couple of days. It makes sense. We as a Christian society tend to put Sunday up on a pedestal and exalt it above any other day. The fact is, there are 6 other days in the week. It is easy to be a Sunday Christian; it is much harder to be a Monday-Saturday Christian. That's when our faith is really put to the test. Do we worship God in our schoolwork? Our meetings? Our conflicts? Our relationships? In all the ordinary things in life? What do we do when we are faced with the opportunity to share Christ's love? Or to serve the poor and marginalized? Or do we avoid these situations at all costs? Sunday, spiritually speaking, is the easiest day of the week. Monday through Saturday are much harder.

At graduation 2006 here at Asbury, one of the speakers said to always question the easy road. Maybe it's about time we started questioning the ease of Sundays....

In His Mercy.

Grace

So I haven't written in several weeks, not because I had nothing to say, but because every time I sat down to write, I blanked. I don't know why. The remainder of my Christmas was great- filled with wedding planning and turning 25=)

God has been teaching me a lot lately. One of the things that He has placed on my heart is grace. By this, I mean not only to say that He continues to bestow grace on me, but He's been teaching me about grace. Due to things going on in my life, He has reminded me of the countless number of times that He has given me grace and spared me from certain situations. Somehow, I had managed to turn a blind eye as I processed through things. Yesterday in church, Aaron spoke about God giving us grace (and peace). All of the sudden, it all clicked. Why this truth didn't click before yesterday, I don't know. It seems to simple, yet profound and enormously complicated to actually put into practice- God gives us grace, therefore we need to extend grace to other people. We have a responsibility to to be gracious to others.

We sang a contemporary version of Charles Wesley's "Arise, my Soul,Arise" yesterday in church:

Arise, my soul, arise,
shake off your guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice,
in my behalf appears;
Before the throne my Surety stands,
Before the throne my Surety stands,
My name is written on His hand

My God is reconciled;
His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child;
I can no longer fear
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And "Father, Abba, Father," cry.

I love this verse. Wesley knew his theology that's for sure. But I can have confidence in my Abba. I can approach His throne knowing that there is surety. What an amazing thing to think about. Praise God for His grace!

In His Mercy...

Flickering Flames

Last night was my last Christmas Eve at home for a while. Everything seemed a bit more...."magical." Every last detail was like a warm cup of coffee- perfect to the last drop. I was there about 30 minutes early to practice my solo, so Pastor Rick had me light the candelabras that lined the sides of the church. As I lit those candles with wreaths splashed behind them, something in my heart clicked and it felt like Christmas to me. It truly felt like Christmas- not that church in and of itself was the answer to achieving the Christmas spirit- you have to have ears to hear. It was as I was lighting those candles that I heard Jesus whisper, "Rejoice! Your King has come to you!" I savored every moment of that service.

From the carols, to the special music, to the interpreters (we have a crowd of deaf people that come to the service), to the kids' smiling faces, to the final candlelight hymn, I will truly miss this church next year. I grew-up in this church- I was baptized there, confirmed there,became a Christian there, and next October, I will be married there=) Every detail of he past 25 years are carefully etched into my heart. I'm ok with this being "the end" for a while. Right now, I am rejoicing that it's Christmas! The King has come!

In His Mercy.

Christmas Time

This Christmas season has been very unique for me, and will continue to be. It's been very emotional- but with me, this probably isn't too big of a surprise! Thursday I helped pack David up. Although his memories there go further back, I have some memories buried in that house on Akers as well. As I walked back to David's room over and over to bring boxes out, I kept having this vision of this past summer. He had come up for a couple days to visit and I had come over to his house the instant he got there. I burst through his front door, ran down that hallway towards his room, and jumped into his arms. It was sad packing up his stuff, knowing we'll be apart next semester...

So I got home on saturday. After dinner, mom and I decorated the tree. It's tradition. Mom and I both ended up crying, knowing that this was the last Christmas for a while where we would be able to decorate the tree together. Although it was hard, I'm so excited for the blessings that God has given me in David. Next year, David and I will be married, in our own place, decorating our own Christmas tree and starting our own traditions. I can't tell you how excited I am for this!

This Christmas season is a season of transition for me. Not only am I enjoying my time here with my family for one more Christmas, but I'm longing to be with my fiance. It's our first Christmas together, and yet we're apart. But praise God for his blessings and his faithfulness. For even though I'm learning to let go, there is still so much to hold on to in Jesus!!!

In His Mercy.