Spiritual Breath

I've really been trying to take the time to "breathe spiritually" on a regular basis this summer (and after summer, too!). I can't take the credit for "spiritual breath," in that it was the subject matter of yesterday's Upper Room devotional. It was talking about how premature babies often need physical touch as a reminder to breathe. Their underdeveloped brains don't allow for involuntary breathing all the time. Likewise, sometimes we need the touch and presence of our Lord in order to spiritually breathe. Reading this was so utterly convicting to me. I have gotten so lazy about my spiritual life. It has become easy to make excuses and blame others for why I haven't taken regular time to be with the Lord. I even noticed this past year that it seemed I found myself at the feet of the Lord more often when things weren't going as I wished they would. Not to say that it was the only time I went to the Lord, but it was certainly easier to make that decision. But, it is in the normal, everyday routines that it becomes most difficult for me to consistently come before the Lord. Perhaps these "ordinary days" are the days I need the Lord the most!

Part of a holistic healthy life for me means going beyond just my spiritual life. I also need to take care of myself physically and mentally. Physically, I have been so much better about going to the gym and walking more this summer. Also, just making healthy food choices has made a huge difference. David and I watched Supersize Me about a week ago and I was disgusted by the mere thought of ever eating fast food again! The next day, I was standing behind a man in the grocery store. His cart was loaded with donuts, little debbie snack cakes, chips, ice cream, soda, and other sugary, fat-filled foods. I looked in my own basket and all there was was fruit, veggies, whole grain bread, skim milk, and light yogurt. Not to pass judgement, but it struck me just how much junk food our society is inundated with. This past week, David and I have begun to really watch what we eat. No sweets, no huge portions, no regular mayo or fast food, no fried food. Even after one week, I can feel a MAJOR difference in how I feel. My body feels less bloated with sugar and already, my clothes fit better. Believe me, I will still have a cookie or scoop of ice cream now and then. Total deprivation is never good and will kill a diet in an instant!

This idea of being healthy body, soul, and mind has really made life better for me. My attitude is better. I have more energy. And in general, I just feel better. So, I sit here typing away, feeling completely blessed and overwhelmed by the goodness of our Lord!

In His Mercy.

Transitioning

Well, it has been a while since I have last written. I keep saying that I'll get back to writing more, but, well, I don't know.... I just haven't.

So, I finished up at my CFUMC job in May. It was so very hard to say goodbye to everybody, especially Jeanne. It had been such a crazy year at the preschool with a staff member and a student sibling passing away of cancer. BUt, I can't deny the Lord's hand on the situation. God was so faithful to provide me with everything I needed to make it through the year. He provided me with an amazing support system in Jeanne and other staff members and the opportunity to pray and vent with some incredible women of God. I could not have been more blessed!

So now I sit here in a summer of transition as I await the start of my new job in the Fall. I am very excited to see where God will lead me in this new opportunity! But, back to the transition thing. David and I have done the "revolutionary" thing of canceling our cable- it's just not worth it to pay for it each month. We also believe our marriage will be better of for it, too! So, we got bunny ears and a digital converter box and in order to get a signal, we had to swap our tv stand wall with our love seat wall. This one minor change sent me into panic of having to adjust to this new set-up. Yes, I realize how dramatic I must sound, but perhaps it stems from having so much time to think about this past year and what could happen in the future. It's a lot to think about!

If I could sum up what God has been teaching me these past couple of months in two words they would be: Trust and appreciation. God has continuously taught David and I to trust Him for everything since we got married. It's so special and powerful to see how God does provide and sometimes we don't even realize it until after the fact!

God has also been teaching me to appreciate myself more. I've been slowly working my way through the book Captivating by John and Staci Eldridge. While I do think that some parts are a little too over the top, it has also made me feel very normal in my struggles and battles. I've been able to embrace the gifts and talents that the Lord has given me and feel excited to really implement those things in my life. God created me to be me, so I need to stop picking on myself and being so critical. The problem here is just that: I focus too much on myself instead of just serving....

God sure did watch out for me this week. I was waiting at a red light to make a left turn. When the light turned green, I had been fiddling with something in my car, so didn't go right away. Just as I looked up and began to go, a 15 passenger van went flying through the red light at what seemed to be 50 mph. My initial thoughts were of negative colorings towards the driver, but then I let out a deep sigh of relief as I realized that if I had gone a second or two sooner, my car would've been smashed, and perhaps so would I! I believe with all my heart that God distracted me in order to protect me. He must've saved me for some purpose, right????

In His Mercy.

Trust

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make you paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I've always loved these verses. Growing up, I had a little name card that had my name, the meaning (Princess!!!), and the above verses. It sat on my bookcase for years. I think these two verses pretty much sum up the task of following Christ. Follow Him and He will guide you. Well, thursday, one of the moms in Jeanne and I's class brought us an end-of-the-year gift; they were tea towels with Bible verses on them. Jeanne's had the predictable "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"- the verse she always recites to the kids who say "I can't." Mine, was picked out a little more randomly, but it had the Proverbs 3 verses on it. I started thinking how neat it is that God knits our whole lives together. All these litte- and big- life events somehow interconnect and make sense together. The above two verses have followed me all these years and mysteriously, this mother "randomly" picked out the tea towel with those exact verses on it. God is good!

I have a lot to trust God with in the coming months. The school year ends on Thursday and a new venture awaits me in the Fall. As scared as I am about, I am also so excited. I believe God will take care of me and help me to thrive.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart......

In His Mercy.

Holy Week

So Holy Week has come and gone. I had so many thoughts and reflections running through my mind last week, but never felt the compulsion to sit here and write. The funny thing is, when I actually take the time to reflect and write, I find my spirit lifted. There is something so freeing about putting your heart on paper ( or the computer screen!). One of the things I thought about a lot was the redemptive quality of Good Friday. Seems like a strange comment, but it was 10 years ago at a Good Friday that I truly understood the magnitude of Jesus' life, death, and resurrection. Perhaps when one is put face to face with the raw reality of Jesus' passion, it has the potential to "force the issue," so to speak. Not that I felt forced to surrender to Christ, but I certainly understood that it is not just enough to do the right things because of a belief in God, but rather we should act out of a relationship with God.

All week last week, I found myself wanting to celebrate Easter, but I had to remind myself that Good Friday comes first. ST JAmes does a great job guiding reflection in this. At the Maundy Thursday service, they draped the entire altar area with black cloth after stripping it of all Christological symbols (cross, Bible, etc) and ended the service by removing the Christ candle from the sanctuary. It was very powerful. There is a sense of emptiness and sadness as you watch all this happen.

But then there's Easter. Majestic and celebratory. Where's the victory, grave? No victory. Death is NOT the final answer. For me, one of the most powerful parts of Mel Gibson's The Passion is Satan writhing in the earth's underbelly when Jesus dies on the cross. On Easter we celebrate Christ's resurrection where he removes the sting of death and Satan can no longer boast of the grave!

David and I have so much to celebrate this year. God keeps telling us to be faithful and trust, so we do. And God keeps providing. It blows me away- literally penny for penny, event to event, God is providing! Great is YOUR faithfulness! Your mercies are NEW every morning!!!!

In His Mercy.

In His Hands

Most of you who read this probably know that I work with 4-yr-olds at a preschool up the road. I absolutely love, love, love those sweet kids. Today is my favorite preschool day because we hve so much variety and are constantly switching gears. Well, chapel time rolled around and one little girl got up out of her seat and snuggled onto my lap. Another little boy, who does not like to be the one who is left out of the whole "sitting-on-your-lap" ordeal, gets out of his seat and snuggles next to me. During the closing prayer song, the chapel leader suggested the kids hold hands with their neighboring friends. Of course, these sweet kids immediately reached for my hand. I took each of their tiny hands and sat there praying with them. It was such a precious moment.

I thought about how our Heavenly Father must love holding our hands when we pray. He must love those sweet moments with us infinitely more than I do with my preschool kids. We need to reach out in eagerness and grab hold of the hands of God and "snuggle" with Him in our own prayer lives. I believe He cherishes those moments so much! May my snuggle time with God grow each and every day.

In His Mercy.

Walking to Emmaus

This past weekend, I went on the Walk to Emmaus. The Walk to Emmaus is a 72-hour retreat designed to draw you closer to the Lord. I can't really say more about what goes on because by doing so, I could rob someone's else's joy of experiencing it for themselves.

The weekend was amazing. I have to admit that going into it, I was a little skeptical. I would have to spend 3 days away from hubby with no phone and no watch. The idea of being thrown in with a group of strangers and sleeping in a bunk room did not exactly send me into fits of excitement. But, God quickly changed my heart. David came home from his walk and told me that I would love it and that there was something so special about the weekend.

Yes, it was a very special weekend, precious even. I have only just begun to process through the massive amount of knowledge and heart that were poured into me this past weekend. The one concept that really stands out in my heart and mind is that I am so dearly lived by God and by so many people around me. It amazes me to think about the depth of God's love for me- that He delights in me and calls me His child. God loves me through others, too. This past weekend was truly a gift of love.

I'll write more later, but right now, it's more than I can put into words. For now, I will say this- if you are a Christian that is seeking to grow and to serve Christ as His disciple- go on this retreat!!!!! You will not regret it!

In His Mercy.

The Rail

A couple of Sundays ago, I was sitting behind two sweet little girls at church. During the morning prayer, the altar rail is open for people to come kneel and pray. Well, one of the little girls ran to the altar and a few seconds later, her friend runs after her and plants herself down next to her. I see them both look to their right to observe the actions of others at the rail.

I sat there and smiled as I watched all of this go down. Two thoughts came to mind. One, why are we not all running to be with the Lord? Maybe these little girls didn't fully understand what they were doing, but I have to believe that somewhere in their innocent hearts, they understood that praying at the altar rail was a good and right thing to do. I don't run to the Lord enough. I need to be running to the Lord on a daily basis. I can learn from those two sweet girls what it means to have a child-like faith.

The second thought that came to mind is how important it is as adults to set an example for the kids around us. Those girls immediately looked around to see what the adults where doing and did as they did. How precious. Am I setting an example for kids? I hope so. Everyday that I am in my preschool classroom, I constantly have to remind myself to be patient and to take deep breaths. My actions and emotions are examples to the little ones around me.

So yes, we need to learn from the kids in our lives as we set an example for them as well=) I love how God uses kids to teach me!

In His Mercy.