One Year

Easter is tomorrow. This year I've been invited to have Easter dinner with the family I have nanny-ed/ baby-sat for for the past 2+ years. Last year on Easter I felt very much alone. My roommates were gone, my family had just left from their visit, my grandmother's cancer was spreading, and I hit rock bottom as far as being single is concerned. I finally got to that point where I said, "Ok God. I don't like it, but I'll accept it. I know you know my deepest needs, so provide for those, not my own selfish desires."

Here I am a year later. My grandmother has since passed on to be with the Lord. I miss my family, but feel a special bond with them none-the-less. And not only did God provide me with an amazing man one week after my Easter meltdown, but one year later I sit here as a happily engaged woman to the most wonderful man in the whole entire world=)

I have a lot to be thankful for. God has been so good to me. Yet I sit here, feeling a bit empty and out in limbo. I just feel like I'm done here in Wilmore. I am itching to get out. I am itching to move down to Georgia. I am longing for David and I's future together, if that even makes sense. In some ways, I feel stuck in a place that frustrates me. I love what I do ministry-wise and I love the education I'm receiving, but as far as this place, I feel a bit disenchanted.

Tomorrow is Easter- the day Jesus rose from the dead! I'm longing for the Holy Spirit's touch right now. I feel a bit dead inside and want the Spirit to raise me up again. Easter may not be the best option for a "quick fix," but I sure am glad that Jesus was brought back to life! I know that nothing can rob me of the joy I have inside and I trust that I am going through a season right now. But tomorrow I will go to church resting in the greatest truth there ever was, is, and will be!

In His Mercy.

Faith

"We live by faith, not by sight." -2 Corinthians 5:7

Walking by faith is something that God has daily been reminding me of. About a week ago, something was "dangled" in front of David and I that quite honestly left me with a good taste in my mouth, despite the uncertainties of it all. I played the "what if" game and started dreaming of how our lives would look different.I admit that an ungodly confidence infiltrated my heart and I was sure that I knew what was going to happen.

But then God reminded me that I am to walk by faith, and not sight. Easier said than done. This summer will mark a new chapter of my life when I move down to Georgia, into David and I's house, and await the arrival of October 18. Let me tell you something, I have to walk by faith. Here I am, already in a place that I never would have imagined myself to be in(Kentucky), about to move even further away from my Connecticut homeland. God has blessed me in some crazy ways. I'm truly excited to see where God is going to lead David and I in the coming months, years, and decades together=) It's going to take some hardcore faith, but praise the Lord that He is so much bigger than you and I!!!

In His Mercy.

Room at the Inn

Last night I volunteered with Room at the Inn. This is a homeless ministry that area churches in Lexington participate in for the winter months. Food and shelter are provided for homeless men. I signed up to cook dinner with one other person, which also meant serving dinner to the men and eating with them. I did this last year and was extremely nervous about the eating part. What do I possibly have to say to a group of homeless men? The same went for this year. Cooking dinner was fine- despite the fact that I am a cook in the making=) But it was eating dinner that I was nervous about.

Shortly before heading over to the church, I was on the phone with David expressing to him my concerns. His advice: be yourself and don't feel like you have to say anything- the reality is that they probably have wealth of wisdom that I simply don't have. So I head off to church with a simple prayer in my heart- Lord, please help me to be myself. Dinner was cooked, the men were served, and I finally got up the nerve to grab my plate and just sit down at the table. After a few minutes of silence, the man sitting across from me opened the door for conversation. We probably talked for a good 20 to 30 minutes. He told me personal things about being homeless- not specifically why he was in the situation, but the general gist and how he wanted to move forward. I felt the Holy Spirit at the table with us and I encouraged this man to continue forward and to hold onto the hope that we don't have to live in our pasts. He asked me about why I was in Kentucky and what I wanted to do with my life. As I got up to go help with the dishes, he stopped me and encouraged me. He expressed to me his gratitude that I had a passion to work with kids and encouraged me as I continued forward with this ministry goal.

It was an incredible night. I walked out of church last night with such an excitement overflowing from my heart. The Lord taught me an important lesson last night. He reminded me that He uses the weak to guide the strong. I don't think I have strength, but society would see this man as the weak one and me as the strong one- if only because of economic status. But the truth is that I probably received more that I gave last night. The Lord also reminded me that we should be excited about our participation in Kingdom service. I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit prompted me to sign up to cook dinner last night! Truly for me it wasn't about the actual food we cooked, but by the spiritual food that that homeless man gave to me without even realizing it...

In His Mercy.