Dreaming God's Dreams

After some discussions with Starr yesterday during lunch, I started thinking about what it means to let God dream in us.It's not that God needs our permission to be God, but I mean this more in the sense that we put up walls around our hearts by dreaming our own dreams for ourselves.In comparison, the dreams we dream for ourselves are so small.They pale in comparison to what God wants to do in us.I have all these visions of what I want my life to look like, what I want to accomplish. The problem here is the word, "I." Is this what God has dreamed for me or is this my own selfish desire to make life what I want it to be? God needs to be dreaming in me. His dreams are bigger and better and more wonderful than my own. What would my life look like if I "let" God unleash His power in me? What could be accomplished?

Isaiah 55:9 says, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." The thing is, I may think I know what's best for me, but really it's God who knows best, just by the simple fact that He's God, and I'm not.If I don't let God dream in me,I'm going to get frustrated and I'm going to go into ministry on my own strength, which is the biggest mistake I could make.So this is my challenge to myself and to my brothers and sisters in Christ: let God dream in you! There's no telling what wondrous things He's waiting to do in us...

In His Mercy,
Sarah

Taking a Break

So I'm here in the library desperately trying to focus on my interpretive assignment due tommorow.Being the procrastinator that I am, I didn't go to the library on Saturday like I should have. It's funny because I love being a student, but motivating myself to do my work is a whole other story.I guess what it comes down to is that I think actual life experience is primary to the classroom- what I'm learning in class should be supplimenting my experiences in ministry.I think that there is only so much that you can learn from a textbook or sitting in a classroom.I want to be out doing what I'm learning about.I know that there's a balance between these two things.Either I have no clue what is or the professors have no clue what it is-or both=)

Anyhow, I ahd an awesome day yesterday.Church was powerful.I've been praying about my mentored ministry a lot lately.I knew I wanted to do something different that would challenge me.I have an idea in my head right now, but it's still being kept in prayer.Yesterday's sermon was confirmation that my idea would be beneficial to the church and to God's Kingdom.Pretty much I would like to launch an outreach ministry to the families of the kids in our children's ministry.The sermon preached was about the parable of the wedding banquet. Aaron talked about a first banquet, which is fellowship at a superficial level, but is still neccesary in order to get to the second mystical banquet where people will encounter Jesus Christ. His focus was on the need to invite the poor,crippled, blind, etc. It was convicting.When you live in Wilmore, it's easy to stay in a little Christian bubble.It' s easy to make excuses of why you don't know many non-Christians.So,I think that my mentored ministry holds potential of getting me out of the Asbury bubble and doing what God has asked of me.

But life is just good right now,really.Sara reminded me the other day (courtesy of her blog) that life isn't about killing time until the "next big thing" happens to us.Things are happening now.God is doing good things now.Are my eyes open to this?Is my heart?My ears? My whole being? I think I'm at a point where I know that life isn't something that's awaiting me somewhere "out there," but it's here and it's now and whether I like it or not,I'm living it now.Big things are happening and God has blessed me beyond measure and for that I'm eternally grateful.

In his mercy...

God's Faithfulness

God's faithfulness is something I come back to often.In comparison to life,God's faithfulness is striking.After last week,it's something that's been on my heart a lot recently.My week started off with getting sick early Sunday morning.This in turn made me homesick and exhausted.All week I felt on the outside of everything and tears came at the drop of a hat.One night I literally cried myself to sleep,wanting so much for God to come down and give me a hug and wipe the tears from my eyes.Friday rolled around and some things were said that were hurtful not only to me,but to my closest friends.This brought more tears and that point I wanted to throw my hands up and say, "I give."

But God is faithful.God answers prayer.I saw God moving in so many ways.God's faithfulness is amazing-think about it,no matter how crazy life gets, God is faithful.He can't not be faithful.Since becoming a Christian 7 years ago, I learn more and more as I grow in age and depth of faith what it means to rest in God, to completely trust that God's "got your back." And He does.He has NEVER let me down in any way, shape, or form. I'm not saying I have this Christianity thing down perfectly, because I don't.I mess up.I sin.I do stupid things.But God is faithful-His mercies are new every morning.God is steadfast and who He is stays the same.We sang this song in church on Sunday and I think it speaks to what is spinning around in my head right now:

Grace like Rain by Todd Agnew

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Chorus

When we've been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We've no less days to sing
Your praise
Than when we first begun

A classic hymn with a contemporary twist.Do you believe these words? I do....

Let the Children Come to Me-Jesus

Matthew 19:14 Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

As many of you know,I am passionate about working with kids.Jesus valued kids,so we should do.I think there is a lot to be learned from kids.I also think it's an incredible opportunity to be real.Kids can see right through people who aren't being genuine-they are good judges of character! These,among other reasons,are why I love working with kids.

I volunteer with a couple of different children's ministries in Lexington and I see kids coming from broken homes, starved for some healthy attention.It breaks my heart,makes me sad,and in some ways makes me sick.It's hard to understand how this happens.I mean,I know in the obvious way why these things happen.But part of me can't comprehend how someone could be so disrespectful and flippant of their own flesh and blood.Maybe I'm speaking from ignorance-coming from a comfortable suburban home with the typical family included-two kids,a mom and dad, a dog,and white picket fence.I only have my exerience to speak from.But is there a part of me that's justified in being disgusted about brokenness within the family?No child deserves to be mistreated.No child deserves to be cast aside so that the parent(s) can deal with his/her own problems.One of the things about a family is that they carry each other's burdens and deal with them together.I understand that the typical nuclear family is not that common these days, but that doesn't mean that the homes that do exist can be characterized by neglect,abuse,and a lack of transforming love.

I know this is just a bunch of ramblings and that it may not have made a lot of sense...but it's hard to articulate matters of the heart....

Indescribable

Kutless - All The Words
How do I speak of the indescribable to You
I will try to explain these feelings that are true
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I
bring
All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and
never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands
and I worship
I worship You
In your presence I forever choose to live
I will praise You for it's all I have to give
So looking to the sky I will sing and from my heart to You I
bring
All of the words in all of my life that could never explain and
never describe
All of my love, which is nothing to hide so I lift up my hands
and I worship
By Your grace You let me come talk to You
It's not that I'm worthy I thank you Jesus
For the love that You have shown

I was listening to Kutless' album "Strong Tower" today and this song caught my attention.I think one of the things that God has been teaching me lately is that I shouldn't wait till I am at the end of myself to turn to Him.So often it's when I feel like I have nothing to turn to in the world around me when I decide it's time to rest in God. This seems almost silly to me when I stop and think about this.This new year for me has meant so far a new beginning.It's a chance to rededicate my life to the Lord. It's a chance to realize that nothing else matters except Jesus Christ living in me.I love the song Give Me Jesus when it says, "You can have all this world, just give me Jesus."This song was important to me when I first starting following Jesus, and lately it has had renewed importance to me.It's a constant reminder that Jesus is what matters most.Jesus is what keeps me going each day.Jesus is the reason for the blessings in my life.And most importantly, Jesus is the reason why I am redeemed.It's only by His blood.
There are no words that could possibly express my gratitude for salvation and for the blessings in my life.Jesus dying on the cross for me is unfathomable.I am free from condemnation, but yet here I am, lamenting over what a sinful person I am.I am unclean, but everyday God washes me clean because He loves me. What an amazing thought.
I am also incredibly blessed.I have the most amazing,loving,supportive family.I have friends who are there for me.I have had some amazing opportunities that most of this world is not blessed to have.I have God given abilities that I am trying to use for His glory.I am provided for.I am healthy.I am alive, both physically and spiritually.Praise God!
So it's time to truly live because I have been redeemed and I have been blessed by the Most High God! I am His Daughter and I am so completely in love with the Lord....

Ministry

I've been thinking a lot about what ministry looks like.Maybe not in a blanket,general way, but in the ministries that I'm involved with.I think it's vitally important that when people are in ministry together, they are growing deeper in relationship with each other.In other words,the people we are in ministry with should be aware of our passions,our stories,what God is doing in our lives,etc. I think it's hard for true ministry to happen without that trust that it's a safe place to "be." I guess my thoughts are sparked by my own situation.I'm the kind of person who craves quality time.I know I'm an introvert and can come across as someone who just doesn't talk,but that's not me.I need to feel like I can trust people before I pore out my heart.After four months of ministry at my church here in Kentucky,I questioned myself as to why I'm still tentative about showing my heart.It's not because of the people I minister with,it's because there isn't that intentional time of community-building.

These thoughts and realizations have led to me to the process of figuring out what my mentored ministry should be.The easy answer for me is to do something with the children's ministry.I think that's where I am most naturally gifted.But,I also think that my mentored ministry should be something different than what I've done in the past, for reasons ranging from challenging myself and getting a wide range of experience.I think it would be neat to start a small group, maybe focusing in on a ministry that I'm involved with.I want people to see my heart.I want people to know what God has done in my life.I want people to see that I have things to say,that there are issues that I'm passionate about, that my greatest desire in life is to seek the Lord with my whole heart.I'm tired of mediocrity. I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong simply because the opportunity hasn't presented itself to share about who I really am.

So yeah...just some things on my mind.

And It Begins

So I've decided to leave my livejournal behind and join the blogger world.It's a new year and truly a new beginning.This is just one small way I'm starting new.My goal is to use this blog as a way to share my insights on God and what He is teaching me.

I'm taking a J-term class right now on the book of Hebrews.Some of the things that we've been talking about reminded me of a hymn that we used to sing in college a lot.Here are the lyrics:

Approach, My Soul
by John Newton - 1725-1807
1. Approach, my soul, the mercy seat Where Jesus answers prayer;There humbly fall before His feet,For none can perish there.
2. Thy promise is my only plea,With this I venture nigh;Thou callest burdened souls to Thee,And such, O Lord, am I.
3. Bowed down beneath a load of sin,By Satan sorely pressed,By wars without and fears within,I come to Thee for rest.
4. Be Thou my Shield and Hiding-place,That, sheltered near Thy side,I may my fierce Accuser face And tell him Thou hast died.
5. O wondrous Love, to bleed and die,To bear the cross and shame,That guilty sinners such as I Might plead Thy gracious name!

One of my favorite verses from Hebrews is 4:16: "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." It seems paradoxical in some ways.While we are to approach with confidence, there is also the need to approach with humility.There is a huge difference between human confidence and confidence in the faithfulness and power of our God.I think that without this element of humility, we run the risk of approaching God with human confidence that in the end can only be our downfall.

Another verse that has caught my attention is 9:22 where the author says that "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." The Old Testament Law did require the blood of bulls to be offered as a sin offering, but this happened year after year.Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, sacrificing his own blood to offer forgiveness once and for all.It frustrates me to no end when day after day, this amazing grace is cheapened by own stupidity and cheap thrills.Why is it so easy to cheapen the grace of a God who gives abundantly and fills thirsty and hungry souls? The reality,I know,is that I cannot be perfect in this lifetime.I just have to keep seeking Him and honoring Him with my gifts, giving back to Him but a portion of what He truly deserves.

The fact is,I am so hungry and thirsty right now.The prospect of what another new year could hold is exciting to me.So I stand here,my cup raised high, knowing that it's already overflowing!