Being Type A

This past Sunday, I was trying to figure out why it is that when it comes to music, I want to get everything perfectly.I hate messing up and get visibly frustrated with myself-at least during rehearsal.I stress-out when we don't have praise band rehearsal or when I can't go.I feel like I have to practice. WHy is that???

Well,I realized something.Growing up, it seemed like everybody had their "thing." I had friends who were dancers, star athletes, ridiculously good students, etc etc. Music was my thing-particularly playing classical guitar.Let me tell you something, I was pretty much the only one who played classical guitar.So by default, I was the best.Maybe without even realizing it, I made myself into a perfectionist when it came to music because I so desparately wanted to be the best at something- like I had to prove myself.

Well,this thinking is faulty.Last week, I opted not to go to praise band rehearsal due to exhaustion and a cough I was trying to shake.I told myself I wasn't going to stress out about getting things perfectly.On past Sundays after a week of no rehearsal, I've made some mistakes here and there.I thought about it so much afterwards and kicked myself for making those mistakes, when really I'm sure no one was sitting at home those nights thinking, "Wow,Sarah came in at the totally wrong time on that song." I realized on Sunday, that when it becomes about me "getting things right," then it's no longer worship.It becomes about me "proving" to everyone that I have talent.God didn't give me a voice to sing with so I could show off or try to prove myself; He gave me a voice to sing songs for Him, to Him, and for the edification of the Body of Christ.So how can I edify the Body?Well, for one,I can stop trying to be a perfectionist.And for another thing, I can remind myself that I am free to worship the Lord.I need to let the Holy Spirit sing through me.As long as I keep my "Type A" personality in this respect, I am inhibiting the Spirit's movement in me.

So yeah,just some things I've been thinking about.

In His Mercy.

P.S.I'm ready for Spring Break!!!