Feeling Trapped

Ok,so this is probably going to be a complaining entry, but so be it. If I don't rant right now I'm going to go out of my mind. Summers in Wilmore are not my thing. This is my second summer in Wilmore and honestly, I want to jump out of my skin. Granted, it's been a stressful summer for many reasons, but I guess I feel a bit trapped right now. I'm trapped in a house with mice,ants, and an anxiety-producing atmosphere. I'm trapped in a town that is worlds different than what I am used to. I'm trapped in a sadness that can't go anywhere yet. I'm trapped in boredom and lonliness and frustration and stress and lack of sleep and all I want to do is yell and scream. I want to speak my mind, but at the same time know that sometimes speaking my mind may not be the best option. I just want out. I want normality and routine and the stress that only a seminary semester can give me.

I was telling David the other night that I am craving newness and a fresh start. That's the only way I can put it. I am craving a new environment with new opportunities and and even new stresses. The stress I'm dealing with now is getting to be too big to hang onto. And perhaps I should never have tried to hang onto it. God is probably whispering to me at this very moment to let it go- give it to Him and hold onto the hope that has been right there all along.

I am excited about what my future holds. I am blessed by my present, despite anxiety, stress, and sadness. And, I can learn from my past- even from these past 3 months.

Thus ends my rant...

In His Mercy.