Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Silent Night

Sunday was a peaceful day at church. David's sermon made me cry. Here's the thing, I love David's sermons, but they've never made me cry before! The premise of the sermon was that Joseph was a real man for standing by Mary even though scandal was a possibility due to her "untimely" pregnancy. He ended the sermon by reminding us that just as Joseph was Jesus' adoptive father, God the Father adopts all of us into His family. This is when I started to cry.

I will not be with my family this year for Christmas, but God the Father will be with me. He will celebrate in the Christmas joy with me. Praise the Lord! I will have a Father with me tomorrow=)
We ended the service by singing "Silent Night, Holy Night." I could barely sing past the tears forming in my eyes. I can't even begin to imagine the tenderness of that night when Jesus was born....

Rejoice, rejoice! Your King has come to you, o Israel!

In His Mercy.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Silence is Golden

Sunday morning, I sat down in front of the tv with a bowl of cereal, yogurt, milk, and of course, coffee. I pressed the power button and the tv blew out. In a panic, I immediately started planning on what to do- buy a new tv? Take David's mom's old tv? Whatever will we do without a television?

In Sunday school, we are going through Rob Bell's Nooma videos. It just so happened that on Sunday, the video we were watching was about silence and how we needed to turn off the cell phones and tv's in order to hear God's voice. While discussing this video, I realized that perhaps our tv breaking was spiritual, and not just the inevitable of our old tv dying.

The funny thing is is that it turned out, I didn't even have time to do what I wanted to do while our tv lay there dead. There is so much to do. Turning on the tv is possibly a crutch for not doing other things that need to get done. 

Silence is golden.

In His Mercy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Little Hands and Loud Amens

Four days a week, I get to go into my job and be blessed by 2, 3, and 4-year-olds. Each morning we have a staff meeting where we go over anouncements, do a devotional, and take up prayers and praised. Jim asked us one morning if anyone had any praises and 4-year-old Gabriel (son of one of the teachers) raises his hand and says, "Jesus loves us, this I know." Precious.

So then it was time to pray and we all held hands. On one side of me was 3-year-old Wright. Unsure if he would want to take my hand, I held it out and he looked me and decided it was ok to hold onto my hand. Throughout the prayer, his little hand kept slipping and he would inch his little fingers back into the palm of my hand and hold on as tightly as he could. It was so sweet.

I wonder if God wanted to teach me about the kind of faith I should have. I need to know with all my heart that Jesus loves me. And when I start slipping away from the Lord, I need to inch my fingers back into the palm of His hand and hold on as tightly as I can.

While there are days where I am copying and stapling in the office and I have to remember that one day my degree will be put to better use, there are other days where I get to be in the classroom surrounded by these precious kids and be blessed by them for three hours....and even beyond as I sit here and share my experience=)

In His MErcy.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Ripping off the Band-aid

This holiday season so far has been a process of ripping off the rest of the band-aid, so to speak. It has been a struggle to "be okay" with not going home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, something which has never happened. Furthermore, I don't even know when I'll see my parents or brother and sister-in-law. Last night David and I put up our tree, decorated our mantle, and decorated our front porch. As I sit here and admire our stockings and sparkling tree, I am struck by where I find myself. God has blessed me so much. 

Seminary was a place of self-discovery for me, as cliche as that may sound. I probably gained at least 15 pounds my first year, as I ate my way through depression. But the Lord taught me to love myself and consequently how to love Him first and foremost. I learned how to take it all to the foot of the cross and then the Lord brought David into my life.

So I sit here a married woman with a precious little puppy by my side. We are a family in our own right and for that, I am so grateful. There are no words to describe this formation of a family, with God in the center. This year, we will start our own traditions. And that is perfectly okay. As I mourn the "almost complete" separation from my family, I joyfully welcome David, Me, and McCartney's new traditions and new family.

God is so good...all the time. All the time....God is good.

In HIs Mercy.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Married with Children...or a dog=)




What a journey my life has been since the beginning of October. Well, I'm married- one month on tuesday. It's hard to even articulate the thoughts and emotions that have cycled through me. October 18th was a perfect day- sunshine, Autumn air, and the best wedding to boot! I walked down that aisle with tears streaming down my face, overwhelmed with the fact that I was actually walking down the aisle, towards the man I love and will love for the rest of my life. I said vows in that church that will not ever be taken lightly. Our reception was so much fun and in the blink of an eye, it was 11:30 and we were driving off to our honeymoon. If I could re-live that day, I would.

There are no words to describe the companionship that marriage brings. Everyday, I wake up and realize once again just how blessed I am. I have my husband, our hyper little puppy, a job, and school- which thankfully has an end in sight! God is reviving my heart, something I desperatly need right now. I feel like I will finally be able to breathe and process these last few months as soon as my Fall class is done with. So while this entry is short, realize the enormity of change my life has taken....

In His Mercy.

Monday, October 6, 2008

12 Days

I went to church yesterday and everyone (except for one person) who talked to me asked me if I was nervous about getting married. I answered with a resounding no. I am so excited! I'm not nervous because I know that I am marrying the right person. Being David's wife and having David as my husband seems like the most natural thing in the world today. I met with Rick today to talk about the ceremony. Our sanctuary has glass all across the back, so how he told me how it would work so that David would not see me until I walked down the aisle. I envisioned it all in my head and I started to get all teary-eyed and fluttery in my stomach. David still gives me butterflies=) I know our reception will be a blast, but I am most looking forward to our ceremony because that is where we will say our vows and make our promises to one another. To me, that is the most important thing we will do on October 18th=) I love my David and I am so excited for our wedding- in just 12 more days!!!!

In His Mercy.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Love

Last night I went to the Bible study that David has started up on Wednesday nights. Last night, we watched a Nooma video with Rob Bell. He talked about the three different kinds of love in the Old Testament. There's the friendship love, the deep affection and desire love, and then there's erotic love. As he went through the three loves, he explained how in a marriage relationship, all three loves have to work together in order for the marriage to thrive. If you think in terms of each of the loves being a flame, then they need to burn together and not as three separate loves.

I just thought that that was an appropriate lesson to learn about three days before I'll be flying up to CT for David and I's wedding. I mean, we started off as friends, and as our love for each other grew as friends, it developed into a deeper affection and so on. And that's the way it should be. As our loves for each other grow, so will our marriage.

16 days=)

In His Mercy.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Redemption

Have you ever really sat down and thought about what it is that God saved you from? Even the small behaviors that needed a touch of His grace? I have often thought that because I didn't have a dramatic story, then maybe I wasn't "so bad". Well, today I found a tape of me and an old friend of mine named Heather from middle school. We fell out of touch years ago, but I thought it would be fun to listen to this tape. A good chunk of the tape is us bashing another friend of ours that we hung out with a lot. I know this was like, 12 years ago, but I had this "aha" moment where I realized it was this that I was saved from. I'm not saying I'm guilt-free in the gossip and judgement area, but in hindsight, I realized the weight of my words. I found pleasure in making myself feel better about myself by making fun of someone  else. 

Jesus has certainly saved me from a lot. While it's fun to take a stroll down memory lane, I am also grateful that I have turned my life around!

In His Mercy.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Reality Does Not Bite

I haven't written in over a month. It's not that I don't have anything to say. In fact, I have a lot to say, but not a lot of words to articulate it all. I'll just give a brief update about what's going on with me. I spent two weeks in Connecticut last month so I could get some wedding planning done and have my first of four bridal showers. The shower was so much fun, but there are two observations to be made: one, it's weird being the center of attention like that; and two, bridal showers are kind of like Christmas in that you get all excited about the day coming, and then it's over in what seems like 5 minutes and there's that slight let down that it's all over.

So on my back down to Georgia, I was looking out the airplane window and watching us slowly descend towards the ground. I'm not a fan of flying, but I love landing. As we got closer and closer to the ground, I thought to myself, "When did I get so afraid of life?" It's as if somewhere in the last 5 years, a switch was flipped and I started fearing life. I fear that the plane isn't safe. I fear that when I drive in the rain, my car will crash. I fear the unfamiliar. So as I sat in that seat in that airplane, I said to the Lord, "I trust you. I trust that this plane is in your hands and that I have some things I need to do for you still." 

That was a Saturday. Two days later, I started my new job. I got a job at a preschool as the director's assistant. I pretty much do a little bit if everything. Since the two weeks that I have been there, I have substituted in the music class, helped out the two year olds, written a newsletter, began to organize all the paperwork they'll need to be re-certified this year as an accredited preschool, and made a little girl smile on the playground when no one would play with her. I may fear the unknown, but the truth is- not to toot my own whistle- that I have a lot to offer and I am able.

40 days till David and I get married....

In His Mercy.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Just One of Those Days

Today has been one of those days where I wanted to just sit down in the middle of the floor, cry, and just give up- and by give up, I mean go back to bed and hope for a better tomorrow. It's not even that the things happening were all that bad. Here was my day: wake up at 6:20, get ready for the gym, eat a bowl of cereal, head over to meet David, puppy McCartney poops and pees in her kennel, we get mad at her, go to gym, come back home, McCartney poops on floor after David had let her out, we get mad at her again, we go to get me a Georgia liscence and wait in line for 45 minutes only to find out that I needed either my passport or birth certificate, I get mad and start to cry, David goes to a meeting, I go back home only to find that McCartney has escaped from her kennel, chewed on things she's not supposed to, pooped on the floor again, I get mad at her and she goes back to the kennel, I go to my meeting-exhausted by now, come home and suddenly McCartney is being an angel, but has to go out every 20 minutes (at least she let me know), I proceed to cry, and finally, McCartney falls asleep and I can finally get started on my homework.

Why do I fret the small stuff? Philippians 4:7 has been on my heart a lot lately: "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I need God's peace something wicked<-- once a Northerner, always a Northerner. It took me until about 4:00 today to actually stop and pray. It always occurs to me "too late" to do this. Why is this the case? Why do I not immediately turn to the Lord in prayer? I am just so desperate for the Lord's peace and rest.

My mind doesn't slow down these days. David and I get married in 2 months and 19 days- so lots of wedding planning. Classes are approaching their final module, which means lots of work due in the next couple of weeks. Job potential is just sitting out there and I am waiting patiently for an answer. 

I just need some rest. Lord, give me your rest.

In His Mercy.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I Sit and Watch

...as time goes by. It has been almost a month since I have last written and a month and half since I have moved down to Georgia. I can't even articulate what I have been doing. The brief update of my life is this: I finally unpacked my stuff, David and I are getting a puppy within the next couple of weeks, I went on my first vacation in about 11 years, and my parents are coming to visit next week.

I've had some intense "omg" moments in the past couple of weeks. This whole wedding ordeal is hitting me little by little. 101 days- or 3 months and 10 days. The first set of shower invitations have gone out and the wedding invitations have been ordered. Things on our registry are starting to disappear. All this is going on and last night it culminated with me crying in David's arms about missing my family. The day I marry David is the day I have officially separated myself from my family in some major ways. This is big.

I'm not scared or having any doubts. In fact, quite the contrary. It seems like everyday I love David even more, to the point where I wonder exactly where the human heart's capacity to love with God's love actually ends. It does say in Ecclesiastes (I think it's Ecclesiastes) that God has put eternity in the hearts of men. Is the ability to drink so deeply from God's well of endless love what this is getting at? October 18th will quite possibly be the one of the happiest days of my life. I am so anxious for our day to come. We set the date 10 months ago and time seems to have flown. But yet, 3 months and 10 days seems like forever and a day away. But for now, I constantly thank God for the man I have in David....

In His Mercy.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Georgia Heat and Gully Washers

It has been almost three weeks since I have moved down to Georgia and a lot has been going on in my life. I have only just started to unpack, partly because of procrastination and partly because I felt unsettled in my heart. I unpacked a few of my boxes the other day and it was almost therapeutic. We've put up some new curtains in the house and done a little cooking in our kitchen- it's these little things have gotten me so excited for October 18th when I marry David and move into our house with him.

I've also got wedding plans on my plate. It's amazing how quickly everything piles up. Detail after detail bombards me and while I am trying to enjoy all the planning, I wish there was an easy button.

And then there's my three online classes. Two words as of week two of them: not fun.

But the Lord is teaching me some things. One is the importance of just knowing Him. It would be impossible for me to know myself if I didn't know the Lord. Another thing I have been learning is a renewed sense of trust- there are so many reasons why I need to trust the Lord right now! I need to trust that I will settle in just fine with time. I need to trust that this long engagement is for a reason. I need to trust that even though times are getting hard and the economy is not exactly "pastor friendly" that God will provide.

I am so blessed to finally be here with David. I am so excited about this adventure that I am on!!!

In His Mercy. 

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Moving Day

Yesterday was part one of moving day. Rudy and Starr came over in the morning and between them and David and I, all my stuff was on the uhaul. Another hour past that and all the cleaning was done. It was a glorious thing to take that key off my key ring and leave it on the table inside the apartment.

Last night, David looked at me and I just started to cry. Moving has been way more emotional than I expected. I feel as if I am starting completely over at square one. I won't have my family, or my friends, or the kids from my job or my church, or the comfort of the classroom. I'm moving to Georgia, finishing school online, getting married, and finding a job next year. Growing pains are no lie. I'm in a place where I have to let go of what's been comfortable and move into a place that is unknown, yet exciting. 

I'm ready for it. I love David and can't wait for October 18th. Now is the time to just trust the Lord. He has brought safe thus far, and I know He will lead me on. But that doesn't take away the fear of the unknown. I think this summer will be exciting, as I finally get to fall into a rhythm with David. We have been dating for 13+ months in a long-distance relationship. I am looking forward to how God is going to begin to use the two of us in ministry- together!

Today is part II of moving day. We are Georgia-bound!

In His Mercy.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

5 Months

Five months from today is David and I's wedding!!! It's hard to believe that we're down to five months. We set the date back in early september- 13 months ahead of time! Eight months have passed and although it seems like it's still so far away, we have come a long way! I'm looking forward to October 18th- the day I marry the man I love=)

I move in six days!!! Moving week is finally here!!! I am so filled with excitement about this that I don't even know what to do with myself. I just have one more paper in between me and getting out of here. There is a lot of trusting that I have to do in the midst of all this. But, a lesson in trust is always a good lesson for me!

In His Mercy.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Greener Grass

Today was my final Mentored Ministry class. We were talking about how to deal with those difficult people who make being in ministry tough- ya know....the ones that make you want to  run towards the hills! But then our prof shared this little saying, which amazingly I had never heard: The grass isn't greener on the other side; the grass is greener where you water it. 

This quote rolled around my head all through class. It's so true. No matter where we are in ministry, the grass always looks greener on the other side. But in reality, we have spent so much time trying to figure out why their grass looks so much greener that we have forgotten to water our own. This could potentially revolutionize the way that Christians minister. There's always going to be those weeds that we cannot uproot, but we certainly can water our grass anyway.

And lo and behold, Jesus tells us that He is Living Water- now that's the kind of water I want to water my ministry with!

In His Mercy.

Friday, May 9, 2008

C'est la Vie

I haven't written in a while, mostly because I have nothing to say, yet everything in the world to say. I am 15 days away from moving to Georgia. Crazy, right? I am in a place where my time at Asbury is coming to an end- at least the campus part- and a new chapter of life is getting ready to begin. And let me tell you, in all honesty, I am a mess right now. One day I'm fine. The next day I'm indifferent. And then, with little warning, a rush of emotions comes pouring out. Then I go to bed, wake-up, and feel fine. Poor David....having to deal with this;-)

But seriously, I was sitting around this morning, drinking my coffee, and trying to figure out what is so hard about leaving Wilmore. Wilmore is not exactly my favorite place. I realized it's not so much Wilmore, but the experience I have had here. I have a handful of close friends that I have to say goodbye to. I had to say goodbye to the kids at church on wednesday- some of them have been there the whole two years I have volunteered there! Next week I have to say goodbye to the precious kids I have nanny-ed for the past 2+ years. I'm dreading that. God has given me some incredible opportunities here these past 3 years.

So while I am letting go of a lot, I am getting to move towards a life with a man I love so incredibly much. David is probably the greatest blessing in my life and DEFINiTELY the best thing that came out of Asbury for me=)

Here I go....I'm diving deep.....

In His Mercy.






Friday, April 25, 2008

Daughters and Needs

So Wednesday night was yet another stressful night at the church. Don't get me wrong- I love those kids and I love being there. But the stress? That's another story. A frustrating thing happened on the bus with kids before we even got to the church. Some of the older boys love to yell out the windows of the bus. Try as I may, they won't stop. Wednesday night was the final straw. We had pulled into the apartment complex to pick up a slew of our kids. We were parked there and lo and behold, the yelling began. I started hearing things like "Hey girl! Can I have your number?" Ok, these boys are in elementary school!!! Well, all of the sudden they start shutting the windows and sitting down and getting really quiet- very suspicious. This girl's father had climbed over the fence, walked over to the bus, and started telling the driver how we are supposed to be a Methodist church and every week we pull in and those boys start yelling at his daughter and he doesn't think a church should be acting like this. He's absolutely right. My heart sunk in that moment because this is exactly why there are people who are so skeptical of Christians. I also felt horrible because I had all but given up on trying to get those kids to listen to me. This ends next week.....

I also wanted to share the following quote from a book I am reading called The Marriage Builder. "When by simple faith I accept Christ's shed blood as full payment for my sins, I am brought into a relationship with an infinite Being of love and purpose who fully satisfies my deepest needs for security and significance. Therefore I am free from self-centered preoccupation with my own needs; they are met." I must have read this quote about 20 times over and over again. This is a very honest word that I need to hold onto. I am ridiculously in love with my wonderful fiance, but he can't be my everything. The Lord is my everything and only He can fulfill my deepest needs!

In His Mercy.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Random Collection of Thoughts

A lot of random, theological discussions have occurred between my friends and I over the past few weeks. The one that pops into my mind at this moment is about this man from the pacific northwest who is pregnant. By now, I'm sure most people know the story, but here's a quick re-cap: he was born a woman, was a model growing up, but decided that she felt like a man. She started to take testosterone, had some re-construction surgery (got married before all this) and then decided "he" wanted to have a baby- good thing "he" kept "his" ovaries.

So Oprah had him on her show a few weeks ago. The most disturbing thing "he" said was that he always felt that he wasn't "supposed to be a woman." This really, really bothered me. As someone who has a strong grasp on my identity in Christ and what it means to be created in God's image, I cannot accept someone saying that they feel like they weren't supposed to be a woman. If they weren't supposed to be a woman, then God would have created them to be a man. Starr, Rudy, and I got in a discussion about how the church should deal with issues like this. It's something to think about because the reality is that with today's medical procedures, it's pretty easy to accomplish sex changes or any other cosmetic changes. So the question remains: What is the church's role?

Think about it.

In His Mercy.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

And the Beat Goes On

It's amazing how crazy life can feel. I'm only taking three classes this semester, but yet find myself scrambling to get things done. I came back from Spring Break on Monday only to realize that I had two assignments due this week that somehow slipped through the cracks. So, I had to take care of that.

Last week David and I went up to Connecticut for 5 days to wedding plan. We got a lot done. I think our run-in at Bed,Bath, and Beyond to do our registry pretty much sums up my life right now. We were standing in front of the wall of kitchen utensils and I got so frustrated and overwhelmed that David and I had to work through some tension. Kitchen utensils....that was my downfall.

I guess I just feel like Wilmore at this point is old news. I'm tired of being here and I'm tired of this whole long distance thing with David. He is what matters most to me (After the Lord, of course) and I can't even be in the same state as him.

The good news is that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm beginning to see it. In a little more than a month I'll be packing up my stuff and heading down to Georgia. A line from a Waterdeep song keeps coming to me: "Though the world moves like mad, you O Lord are faithful." Praise God that He is a rock I can stand on and His promises are true!

In His Mercy.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

One Year

Easter is tomorrow. This year I've been invited to have Easter dinner with the family I have nanny-ed/ baby-sat for for the past 2+ years. Last year on Easter I felt very much alone. My roommates were gone, my family had just left from their visit, my grandmother's cancer was spreading, and I hit rock bottom as far as being single is concerned. I finally got to that point where I said, "Ok God. I don't like it, but I'll accept it. I know you know my deepest needs, so provide for those, not my own selfish desires."

Here I am a year later. My grandmother has since passed on to be with the Lord. I miss my family, but feel a special bond with them none-the-less. And not only did God provide me with an amazing man one week after my Easter meltdown, but one year later I sit here as a happily engaged woman to the most wonderful man in the whole entire world=)

I have a lot to be thankful for. God has been so good to me. Yet I sit here, feeling a bit empty and out in limbo. I just feel like I'm done here in Wilmore. I am itching to get out. I am itching to move down to Georgia. I am longing for David and I's future together, if that even makes sense. In some ways, I feel stuck in a place that frustrates me. I love what I do ministry-wise and I love the education I'm receiving, but as far as this place, I feel a bit disenchanted.

Tomorrow is Easter- the day Jesus rose from the dead! I'm longing for the Holy Spirit's touch right now. I feel a bit dead inside and want the Spirit to raise me up again. Easter may not be the best option for a "quick fix," but I sure am glad that Jesus was brought back to life! I know that nothing can rob me of the joy I have inside and I trust that I am going through a season right now. But tomorrow I will go to church resting in the greatest truth there ever was, is, and will be!

In His Mercy.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Faith

"We live by faith, not by sight." -2 Corinthians 5:7

Walking by faith is something that God has daily been reminding me of. About a week ago, something was "dangled" in front of David and I that quite honestly left me with a good taste in my mouth, despite the uncertainties of it all. I played the "what if" game and started dreaming of how our lives would look different.I admit that an ungodly confidence infiltrated my heart and I was
sure that I knew what was going to happen.

But then God reminded me that I am to walk by faith, and not sight. Easier said than done. This summer will mark a new chapter of my life when I move down to Georgia, into David and I's house, and await the arrival of October 18. Let me tell you something, I have to walk by faith. Here I am, already in a place that I never would have imagined myself to be in(Kentucky), about to move even further away from my Connecticut homeland. God has blessed me in some crazy ways. I'm truly excited to see where God is going to lead David and I in the coming months, years, and decades together=) It's going to take some hardcore faith, but praise the Lord that He is so much bigger than you and I!!!

In His Mercy.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Room at the Inn

Last night I volunteered with Room at the Inn. This is a homeless ministry that area churches in Lexington participate in for the winter months. Food and shelter are provided for homeless men. I signed up to cook dinner with one other person, which also meant serving dinner to the men and eating with them. I did this last year and was extremely nervous about the eating part. What do I possibly have to say to a group of homeless men? The same went for this year. Cooking dinner was fine- despite the fact that I am a cook in the making=) But it was eating dinner that I was nervous about.

Shortly before heading over to the church, I was on the phone with David expressing to him my concerns. His advice: be yourself and don't feel like you have to say anything- the reality is that they probably have wealth of wisdom that I simply don't have. So I head off to church with a simple prayer in my heart- Lord, please help me to be myself. Dinner was cooked, the men were served, and I finally got up the nerve to grab my plate and just sit down at the table. After a few minutes of silence, the man sitting across from me opened the door for conversation. We probably talked for a good 20 to 30 minutes. He told me personal things about being homeless- not specifically why he was in the situation, but the general gist and how he wanted to move forward. I felt the Holy Spirit at the table with us and I encouraged this man to continue forward and to hold onto the hope that we don't have to live in our pasts. He asked me about why I was in Kentucky and what I wanted to do with my life. As I got up to go help with the dishes, he stopped me and encouraged me. He expressed to me his gratitude that I had a passion to work with kids and encouraged me as I continued forward with this ministry goal.

It was an incredible night. I walked out of church last night with such an excitement overflowing from my heart. The Lord taught me an important lesson last night. He reminded me that He uses the weak to guide the strong. I don't think I have strength, but society would see this man as the weak one and me as the strong one- if only because of economic status. But the truth is that I probably received more that I gave last night. The Lord also reminded me that we should be excited about our participation in Kingdom service. I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit prompted me to sign up to cook dinner last night! Truly for me it wasn't about the actual food we cooked, but by the spiritual food that that homeless man gave to me without even realizing it...

In His Mercy.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Ironic?

I had an interesting experience yesterday. For one of my classes, a portion of my grade is based upon my organization and upkeep of a 3-ring binder that contains all of the class material for the semester. Our grade on it is dependent on the quality of our personal notes and how meticulous we are in our filing. Well, I sit down to organize my notebook with all the handouts and notes I have from the first week of classes. I looked proudly at my creation and started flipping through the syllabus to see what I needed to read and write for Tuesday. Lo and behold, what do I find? A page in the syllabus informing me of exactly how to tabulate my notebook. I had done it all wrong. Of course, I get a "little" frustrated. I mean, I thought that I was a detailed person, but I've got nothing on this professor.

So, David calls. I vent. Call the class stupid. Kick around my stupid binder for a while. Go write a paper. And then come back to that darn binder. As I re-labeled everything and re-filed all my papers, God did something quite unexpected. God began to fill me with an excitement about the class....and even the stupid binder! He reminded me that even my "stupid class" is an opportunity to worship Him and that He has a lot to teach me. So ironically, I actually am excited about the class and having this notebook which probably will turn out to be a great resource.

Oddly enough, compiling that notebook yesterday was a spiritual boost. It was a reminder to me of the many blessings in my life- the least of them not being the fact that I am privileged to receive an education. I'm very content with life right now. At the end of the day, I know Who loves me most, who loves me the "next most" =), and who my friends are. Life is good. God is better!

In His Mercy.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Reflection in the Cross

Wednesday nights for me are spent at church with the kids. And I love it. It seems that God really teaches me a lot through my work with the kids. Kids' simplicity can be so profound!

This past wednesday night, one of the little boys, whose probably about 7, was hanging around band practice- his mom was the drummer this week. He walks over to the gold cross on the altar and is looking into it. The worship leader says, "look, you can see your face in the cross." This little boy keeps looking and simply smiles. It made me stop and think. We should all see our reflection in the cross. When I look at the cross, I first off see my sin. I see my brokenness and the sin i my life that lead for the need of the cross. Then I see, second of all, Jesus' broken and bloodied body hanging there, as a penalty for my sin. But lastly, and most importantly, I see the redemption and hope that Jesus offers through His atonement. And to me that is just amazing. As this 7-year-old made me realize, we are all reflected in the cross. God's goodness, grace, mercy, and faithfulness shines through that brokenness hanging there on that old, rugged cross. What an awesome truth!

In other news, I just had a great worship time cleaning our kitchen here in the apartment! I turned on some old Crowder Band, turned it up, and scrubbed my little heart out, tearing as I realized just how deeply I am in need of Jesus. I also learned in this moment that I truly am my mother's daughter=)

In His Mercy.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Monday through Saturday

I haven't updated for a while. January was a whirlwind of a month. I had my 3-day class from the 7th to the 9th. After taking the exam and writing my paper, I went down to Georgia to be with my fiance for two whole weeks=) The crazy thing is that in the 9 1/2 months we've been together, we have never spent that much time together. It was such a blessing. Now I'm back in Kentucky dealing with coming down from the mountain.

Sunday at church, Aaron shared a comment that Maggie had made about how Sunday is not the most important day for her spiritually. This has been rolling around my head for the past couple of days. It makes sense. We as a Christian society tend to put Sunday up on a pedestal and exalt it above any other day. The fact is, there are 6 other days in the week. It is easy to be a Sunday Christian; it is much harder to be a Monday-Saturday Christian. That's when our faith is really put to the test. Do we worship God in our schoolwork? Our meetings? Our conflicts? Our relationships? In all the ordinary things in life? What do we do when we are faced with the opportunity to share Christ's love? Or to serve the poor and marginalized? Or do we avoid these situations at all costs? Sunday, spiritually speaking, is the easiest day of the week. Monday through Saturday are much harder.

At graduation 2006 here at Asbury, one of the speakers said to always question the easy road. Maybe it's about time we started questioning the ease of Sundays....

In His Mercy.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Grace

So I haven't written in several weeks, not because I had nothing to say, but because every time I sat down to write, I blanked. I don't know why. The remainder of my Christmas was great- filled with wedding planning and turning 25=)

God has been teaching me a lot lately. One of the things that He has placed on my heart is grace. By this, I mean not only to say that He continues to bestow grace on me, but He's been teaching me about grace. Due to things going on in my life, He has reminded me of the countless number of times that He has given me grace and spared me from certain situations. Somehow, I had managed to turn a blind eye as I processed through things. Yesterday in church, Aaron spoke about God giving us grace (and peace). All of the sudden, it all clicked. Why this truth didn't click before yesterday, I don't know. It seems to simple, yet profound and enormously complicated to actually put into practice- God gives us grace, therefore we need to extend grace to other people. We have a responsibility to to be gracious to others.

We sang a contemporary version of Charles Wesley's "Arise, my Soul,Arise" yesterday in church:

Arise, my soul, arise,
shake off your guilty fears;
The bleeding sacrifice,
in my behalf appears;
Before the throne my Surety stands,
Before the throne my Surety stands,
My name is written on His hand

My God is reconciled;
His pardoning voice I hear;
He owns me for His child;
I can no longer fear
With confidence I now draw nigh,
With confidence I now draw nigh,
And "Father, Abba, Father," cry.

I love this verse. Wesley knew his theology that's for sure. But I can have confidence in my Abba. I can approach His throne knowing that there is surety. What an amazing thing to think about. Praise God for His grace!

In His Mercy...